From 7/26/06:
Hearts are interesting organs - the abuse they can take, and take and take, and still keep performing. A hard knock, a little hiccup, a slight adjustment and they go right on without missing much more than a miniscule of a beat. All an illusion, really as the "heart" itself is not truly impacted when it is "broken". So what is? What is it that clutches tightly in your chest and feels like a giant cement block? What is it that stutters and jumps? What is it in that general area - muscle reaction to a shock? Is it really that simple? Or is there a wire in your brain that is plugged right into the heart tissue that sends a jolt when it gets "tripped"?
Would that it were that easy, then we would see elective surgeries to snip it and solder the ends off just as common as the ones done to prevent unwanted pregnancies! And what would life be like then? Never to have to feel that pain, would we all become happier people? or meaner people?
Choices were made today, I would have liked to experienced them with that snip already done.
4 comments:
I googled "grown children that break your heart" and got your blog. It is an interesting piece but I can't find out anything about you? Why did you write it? Are your grown chidren still breaking your heart? I was looking for someone to relate to?
I'm not a professional writer or do I aspire to be but I do look for people to relate to. People who have been there, done that. I also enjoyed your "Family reunion" piece.
Thanks for stopping by Lorie. As you can tell I'm not very active on this blog but it was certainly a thrill for me to know you found it and posted a comment! Really made my day.
I have a lot of thoughts in my head to answer your question. Short answer, yes, they do continue to break your heart. Sometimes it's breaking FOR them as I have to stand by and watch them deal with adult problems and can't keep them sheltered anymore.
Sometimes it's in frustration. Wondering why a child of mine would make decisions that so clearly are the opposite of what mom would do.
Why did I write it? I suspect that particular post was a result of learning I was going to be a grandmother. Which has turned out fabulous!
When growing up,I spent a lot of time with my grandparents,my parents would take us a lot of times to our grand parents,and had very good memories,I also did that with my children,never one of my children had any memories of not spending any time with with my parents,I'd spend my last dollar so they could remember their grand parents,I have 3 grow children,2 boys 1 girl.i have 7 grandchildren,and 3 great grandchildren,my daughter,and one of my grand children took me for money,and used me.my oldest son hardly ever comes to see me.one only live 30 minutes away.my daughter lives in the same town I live in, but finds all excuses why they can't come to see me,but ill spend my time going to them.my youngest calls me,and he visits me.but trying to understand my other older children,and older grandchildren really brakes my heart.i don't get to see my Great Grand children due to my daughter . My Heart brakes knowing they live so close,but Yen so far.what Is a mother/ Grand mother to do.I'm 63, i have nö more a relationship with them than i do with the People that live Down the Road from me.hmm so confusing theses days.
What understanding of adult children who push away I have and emphasize with you. I have a daughter, just got married,age 24, I know she is a good person. However, towards parents, can behave towards her parents in ways that feel verbally abusive and like she is in a loop of behavior not unlike a 16 y.o. level. I pay her cell ph bill, I am afraid she would vanish and this the primary link. Other issues that worry me. I dread when ever she has children, I fear she will keep me at-bay, based on past behaviors. My heart keeps breaking, I have unrelenting feelings of grief. I get that you feel no more involved than with people down the road, good way to put it. I only can say to hang in there and be the bigger mature person. I too am 63.
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